September 11, 2001

Let's see on the 10th I had just gotten the call for a job interview that I was to have on the 12th, so I was in a pretty good mood. My mom was in the hospital and I was home with the kids so things were looking alright. On the 11th, it was about 9 in the morning or so (hard to remember the time but I do know that it was in the morning) when the phone rings. It's my mom calling from the hospital. I answer the phone and wonder why (1) she is waking me up and (2) she is in tears. She tells me to turn on the TV and that is about all she says that I can understand. I turn on the television and see this smoking but vaguely familiar building. I am still waking up and she is screaming at me on the phone. I finally get her to shut up and turn the captions on the TV on. I am still trying to figure out what my mother is saying as I read the captions and then I drop the phone. I pick it back up and my next concern is for all of the family that we have in New York and Pennsylvania. We had to figure out who was in or near the towers and how far the plane went down from my aunts' in Pennsylvania.
The next three days were very hard for my family because of how tied up the lines were and not being able to get through. We had no way of knowing whether or not of freinds and loved ones where part of the tower casualites or what.
Once certain everyone was safe we mourned and then moved one. I celebrated my son's birthday 9/12 while still miserable and worried and went to my interview the same day and got the job. I have done my moments of silence till my ears were ringing. I have grieved and pined until I thought I would crack. So now I am done. I am tired of being a basket case the day before my son's birthday. I am sick of remembering that people I went to school with died. I am tired of reliving that day and feeling that fear all over again. So trust me, while I will NEVER forget, I am tired of remembering. Call me uncaring, unfeeling or whatever you want, you don't know me and what I went through that day. I will not forget but I am done remembering. I remember in my own way by celebrating life and sharing what I remember of New York when the Towers and Trade Center stood. I tell my children about how many trains ran under there, what stores were there and all the art and music you could hear in the court yard. I chose to REMEMBER what was then what it has become. I move on and curse the ones that did this. Karma is a bitch boys and we will one day blow up on of your icons but other than that I live, WE LIVE!!
Our day to day lives and petty bullshit still continues and we still do what we do. So we remember but we go on. Nuff said.


I grieve for you
You leave me
so hard to move on
Still loving whats gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on
I Grieve
Peter Gabriel


At 9/12/2006 1:35 AM, Blogger Akela Talamasca said...

Sadly, the thing I remember most about that day was the way my office mates were all freaked out: "They're going to hit San Francisco next!"

C'mon, you idiots. They're going after buildings of International commerce and buildings of strategic importance! What're they going to hit here, the fucking Golden Gate bridge?

Everyone else took the day off and I had a blissful day in the office alone.


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